Heading into week 12 it’s fair to say I’m a wreck. I came home from Dr Suttor’s suite where I had the HALO removed, on a high. The procedure was almost surreal, beginning with us casually discussing my CT scan. “Well,” he starts “everything looks good, did you bring the tools, Allen Key, Torque Drive? etc.?” he looks to my wife. “Yes” she replies… “Ok, then shall we remove the HALO?” OMG! I felt like saying DOES A BEAR SHIT IN THE WOODS? … Let’s do this. Just a mere 7 minutes to remove the top ring and a few more for the jacket…(Watch video in video section of blog) AFTER 74 days in a HALO, today I’m free of it. The sensation is weird to say the least – Dr Suttor describes it like patients who come out of a cast – the feeling of the muscles when they have not been worked and suddenly they’re being kicked into gear. I describe it like having a weight on your shoulders (that would be my head) which suddenly needs to be balanced or it wants to tip off. Not that it’s going anywhere now as bones have healed. We leave Dr Suttor’s suite fitted with a DJ Safety neck collar. Due to my injury I just need something to offer mild support during driving for a few days. This soft collar is perfect and comfortable so we head home via a local café where we have a good lunch and a chai latte. I’m keen to show of my new look and even walk in with HALO bear under my arms (yes I got some looks) this new look as I later see it from my wife’s perspective is still something of a train wreck. My shoulder has sunken badly and my face looks pale, I haven’t helped matters with the wild man from Borneo look. Add my custom eye patch (#94 on it – my sprint-car number) and the huge plasters Dr Suttor fitted me with over the pin sites and wow! Shit it looks like I’ve just been found after being trapped somewhere for 3 months… wait, I have. Trapped in the HALO brace. I think I might make a “HALO survivor” t-shirt. At the café I start to feel a little sore. I think its fair considering I’ve just had x4 titanium bolts unscrewed out of my scalp. So we head home for a bath and rest.
“BATH TIME”
During my 3 month HALO sentence bath time was some type of energy booster. I could sit in a shallow bath and splash about even on my darkest moments and leave almost reborn. I don’t mean to say that lightly, bath time was huge boost and feeling clean, well the important bits at least made me feel human again for a short while. This time the bath was full to the brim and I lapped it up…ahh… 3 months since having a decent wash. Pillow master scrubs my back and I get out feeling fantastic. I comment to the wife I’m going to wean of the drugs as I’m feeling so great.
That morning before our visit to see Dr Suttor, Luke (6) brings HALO bear to me and puts him in my lap. “See you after school” he says. Luke comes to me most mornings to say goodbye, Sophie is a little older and I normally have to call her over to say bye. I tell Luke HALO bear is feeling magical today, if you rub his tummy and make a wish it might come true today. Wish for anything I say. Without even having to think he replies “Please make Daddy’s HALO come off” neither of the children knew there was a chance of it being removed today. I hugged him and fought back the tears (can’t do this as I type…) After school the kids walk in to see me sitting in the lounge waiting for them with HALO removed. For a brief moment they both stop and stare, “Daddy’s halo is off!” says Luke and then he runs over for a cuddle, oh what a cuddle as I feel him push up and snuggle into me. Sophie is in shock as I look so different (she’s never done well with change or surprises for that matter) and runs in tears to her bedroom. “He doesn’t look like daddy” I’m in a regular t-shirt and I’m so hairy, Sam had already commented that I look ‘smaller’. Gosh, perhaps this wasn’t a good idea not to tell them. Later when I’ve gone back to bed she comes around and gives me the biggest squeeze ever and just lays there. This is huge…Sophie, I love you more than anything!
“HEAVENLY SLEEP”
Once home from the Dr, freshly bathed and dressed, I’ve seen the kids and so, I head to bed, Sam tucks me in and as my head touches the pillow properly for the first time in 3 months, oh my gosh… it’s some kind of wonderful as my head sinks into it. I drift off and I’m snoring my chops off in a matter of minutes (Sam’s report) I wake hours later to tears rolling down my face. I get up and realise Sam’s out running the kids to their different after school activities. I’m home alone and suddenly I’m weeping and sobbing on the chair, why did this happen to me? I can’t help myself and the tears keep coming. I call Sam to see how far away she is, I could really do with a cuddle but don’t want the kids to see me like this. She’s 2 minutes away… get your shit together Hinchelwood I tell myself. Anyone for a cup of tea?
Tea distracts me and even manage a pillow master squeeze without tears. We sit down to a cuppa and as I sit in the chair my back hits the rear upright. Oh, I haven’t felt that in a long while 74 days to be exact. The HALO brace extends all the way down the front and back like a solid jacket. Whilst lined with sheep skin it really wasn’t comfortable. I suppose it can’t be both life saver and make you feel great at the same time. I tell my wife later about the tears and chat to Simon on FB messenger who we have all met (see week 11 blog) and who also had a huge crash. He’s experienced the same emotion of tears and offers me some support. We put it down to “relief tears”… relief the HALO is off, relief the head/neck didn’t need to be fused, relief to have a bath, relief to sleep I can go on and on…
That night I sleep on my side and go a long while without pain meds… this changes late in the night, my face, shoulder, neck muscles and pin sites hurt, I need drugs… NO! I say, but I can’t do it… the pain is intense so I take my usual 10ml of Endone. It doesn’t really knock all the pain away, 10ml just dulls it a little. I do sleep through the night and even get back into bed and try a little side action, it feels a bit strange and my shoulder (my good one) is what I’m laying on feels weird. It’s been 3 months since I’ve been able to sleep on my side properly, it looks like it may take a little bit to be able to do it again. My wife snuggles up to me and wraps herself around me, suddenly I’m pain free.
"DISLOCATED SHOULDER”
Now we are HALO free, the next thing is to get some expert opinion about the shoulder. I’m still convinced there is something wrong, Sam has been commenting for some time now on the muscle wasting she could see/ feel under the brace and I think Dr Suttor was a little shocked by the degree of wasting around the shoulder as my HALO jacket came off. “A significant amount of peri scapular wasting” is how Dr Suttor describes it.
So, Part one of this process is done.
HALO and surviving it **done**
Shoulder – possible surgery.
Eyes – fixing the double vision.
“BATH TIME”
During my 3 month HALO sentence bath time was some type of energy booster. I could sit in a shallow bath and splash about even on my darkest moments and leave almost reborn. I don’t mean to say that lightly, bath time was huge boost and feeling clean, well the important bits at least made me feel human again for a short while. This time the bath was full to the brim and I lapped it up…ahh… 3 months since having a decent wash. Pillow master scrubs my back and I get out feeling fantastic. I comment to the wife I’m going to wean of the drugs as I’m feeling so great.
That morning before our visit to see Dr Suttor, Luke (6) brings HALO bear to me and puts him in my lap. “See you after school” he says. Luke comes to me most mornings to say goodbye, Sophie is a little older and I normally have to call her over to say bye. I tell Luke HALO bear is feeling magical today, if you rub his tummy and make a wish it might come true today. Wish for anything I say. Without even having to think he replies “Please make Daddy’s HALO come off” neither of the children knew there was a chance of it being removed today. I hugged him and fought back the tears (can’t do this as I type…) After school the kids walk in to see me sitting in the lounge waiting for them with HALO removed. For a brief moment they both stop and stare, “Daddy’s halo is off!” says Luke and then he runs over for a cuddle, oh what a cuddle as I feel him push up and snuggle into me. Sophie is in shock as I look so different (she’s never done well with change or surprises for that matter) and runs in tears to her bedroom. “He doesn’t look like daddy” I’m in a regular t-shirt and I’m so hairy, Sam had already commented that I look ‘smaller’. Gosh, perhaps this wasn’t a good idea not to tell them. Later when I’ve gone back to bed she comes around and gives me the biggest squeeze ever and just lays there. This is huge…Sophie, I love you more than anything!
“HEAVENLY SLEEP”
Once home from the Dr, freshly bathed and dressed, I’ve seen the kids and so, I head to bed, Sam tucks me in and as my head touches the pillow properly for the first time in 3 months, oh my gosh… it’s some kind of wonderful as my head sinks into it. I drift off and I’m snoring my chops off in a matter of minutes (Sam’s report) I wake hours later to tears rolling down my face. I get up and realise Sam’s out running the kids to their different after school activities. I’m home alone and suddenly I’m weeping and sobbing on the chair, why did this happen to me? I can’t help myself and the tears keep coming. I call Sam to see how far away she is, I could really do with a cuddle but don’t want the kids to see me like this. She’s 2 minutes away… get your shit together Hinchelwood I tell myself. Anyone for a cup of tea?
Tea distracts me and even manage a pillow master squeeze without tears. We sit down to a cuppa and as I sit in the chair my back hits the rear upright. Oh, I haven’t felt that in a long while 74 days to be exact. The HALO brace extends all the way down the front and back like a solid jacket. Whilst lined with sheep skin it really wasn’t comfortable. I suppose it can’t be both life saver and make you feel great at the same time. I tell my wife later about the tears and chat to Simon on FB messenger who we have all met (see week 11 blog) and who also had a huge crash. He’s experienced the same emotion of tears and offers me some support. We put it down to “relief tears”… relief the HALO is off, relief the head/neck didn’t need to be fused, relief to have a bath, relief to sleep I can go on and on…
That night I sleep on my side and go a long while without pain meds… this changes late in the night, my face, shoulder, neck muscles and pin sites hurt, I need drugs… NO! I say, but I can’t do it… the pain is intense so I take my usual 10ml of Endone. It doesn’t really knock all the pain away, 10ml just dulls it a little. I do sleep through the night and even get back into bed and try a little side action, it feels a bit strange and my shoulder (my good one) is what I’m laying on feels weird. It’s been 3 months since I’ve been able to sleep on my side properly, it looks like it may take a little bit to be able to do it again. My wife snuggles up to me and wraps herself around me, suddenly I’m pain free.
"DISLOCATED SHOULDER”
Now we are HALO free, the next thing is to get some expert opinion about the shoulder. I’m still convinced there is something wrong, Sam has been commenting for some time now on the muscle wasting she could see/ feel under the brace and I think Dr Suttor was a little shocked by the degree of wasting around the shoulder as my HALO jacket came off. “A significant amount of peri scapular wasting” is how Dr Suttor describes it.
So, Part one of this process is done.
HALO and surviving it **done**
Shoulder – possible surgery.
Eyes – fixing the double vision.
“THE GREAT SHAVE”
I’ve never experienced the feeling of being shaved by another man. I’m not really the type to go and get his nails done or anything thing like that but after today I might just have to start going to these man-parlours more often. Today wasn’t much better than yesterday for pain and my attitude. I really could have just laid in bed all day as the constant pain of my shoulder is relentless when upright. The pillow master wasn’t going to take no for an answer and basically grabbed me by the ear like I’m some kind of naughty child and carted me off to our local Barber. I have frequented this hair salon many times before and know most of the guys there. Charlie will be cutting hair today and we popped in to show them why I hadn’t been around to see them, so he knows all about the Halo and saw it on the head. Charlie has worked here for many years, we discuss hair options, leave the flowing top long, trim the beard or go with a new style… I decide to go back to the good old me, so it’s to be a number 2 back and sides, trim the top, give the ears and eyebrows a tickle up and SHAVE. A real shave cut throat style… boy oh boy did it feel good. I walk out feeling a million bucks with my face a smooth as a baby’s bum. Yip I’m sold on the Man shave.
Top Picture: Taken straight after HALO removal. Check out sunken left shoulder.
Second Picture: Dr Suttor checks out C.T scan before giving the OK to remove HALO.
Third Picture: With Charlie and time for a hair cut and shave.
Forth Picture: Before and after.
Lower Picture: All cleaned up.