Week 9 is here and for the first time I’ve used my blog for what it was intended for, as a diary, a re-hash, I’ve sat here and re read it, every documented moment of my journey thus far.
Its 4.00am in the morning – I can’t sleep, I’m now on a constant cycle of 6hrly 10ml endone for pain relief. Some nights I sleep through the 6 hr mark and then wake knowing I’ve done exactly that so I get up, dose up and sit up til it takes effect.
So it’s 4am and I decided to get up and head to the office and start week 9. Before I do so I read it… all of it. No tears and a great sense of achievement. Yes, the blog has accomplished exactly what I wanted it to do. Allow me to clear my head and move on. I recommend anyone going through “life stuff” to record it. You don’t need to send it out to the world for them to scrutinise you on it but it does help to remember, to record and to move on.
This week I tried to switch meds (GP’s suggestion) I was against it initially but went with the idea. Bad move. This saw me flat on my back with vomiting bursts, dizziness and an overall grogginess, we have since concluded this probably coincided with the anti-nausea meds wearing off. Anyway, with all of this, depression sets in and I start to go downhill.
The pillow master has been a huge help through this, normally I’m the energizer bunny who jumps out of bed at any hour to start the day’s activities. Even if it’s a 3am start to go to work, I’ve never had a problem getting up and just seem to get on with it. So to find it a chore to get out of bed after 2 days of lying there starting at the celling… yip, out of character. So the pillow master has been pushing me to go for walks and head out to the shops etc. It’s hard for her to see me down, as I said, it’s so out of character. Sam has said, she can deal with lots of stuff if I’m still me, it’s hard though when she looses sight of ‘me’. By the end of the week I’m back on my normal meds and feeling half ok so I’m back out and about and even manage a few more walks. Shoulder still more than 60% of my pain.
At the shops today whilst eating my yummy “Dedication” toasted sandwich a lady sitting one seat down starts a conversation with me. This well-groomed woman tells me a story of how a girlfriend of hers was fitted with a HALO after breaking her neck. She tell me how her husband offered no support for her and how she had to go through her 3 month rehab alone with it eventually claiming their marriage. OMG… I cannot think of anything worse. You really need great people around you to get through this ordeal. I’m so lucky to have the pillow master – Love you Samantha!
“WHEN I GET OUT…”
Like some kind of prison sentence, I’m looking forward to getting out of my brace. I find myself thinking about the water flowing down my back from a shower. Being able to ride in a car without feeling like I need to think about the best route or how long the trip’s going to take as a result of shoulder cramping and locking up. Mostly the fear of tripping up or whacking the HALO which with its 2” long pins would drive nicely into your brain. I know it’s a little over dramatic but you try wearing it and not thinking about it.
So what will life immediately post HALO look like for me? The chance of getting a good look at the shoulder with a MRI, CT, and/or ultrasound without framework will be a good start. To have a conclusive diagnosis with what’s going on here will allow me to get on with shoulder repair. Currently nothing has been done to the relocated shoulder as even if we do need surgery the HALO would prevent this from happening. I’m also hoping that as I regain movement in my head/neck this might play a part in my eye sight getting a little better. (I have an apt booked at the end of Nov with an eye specialist...) There is nothing on Dr Google to support this but I think it’s got to help.
Even if nothing else was to improve, the ability to lay on my side and get a full night sleep would be heavenly… oh, I can’t wait to be able to do just that! To cuddle the pillow master and my kids without fear of framework whacking into them… oh, yes and to be off the DRUGS!
“MASTERING PAIN”
I have been trying to keep the shoulder moving as best possible. This week saw us back with Daniel the physio, he’s happy with my improved movement, (he’s been measuring movement in degrees and there has been a big improvement, it’s nice to have numbers to work off as from where I stand things still seem pretty dire) and I leave the physiotherapy practice feeling happy. I’m not sure if the fact I’m totally drugged up is helping with the movement, as the drugs wear off I’m certainly more aware of that shoulder then I’ve been for some time, perhaps I overdid it? But it’s good to know I can move it still, albeit in a limited way.
I’m still of the opinion I have a torn rotator cuff or something, even my specialist (the HALO dr) seems to think this may be the case, but his orthopaedic speciality is the spine, so we have booked in to see an orthopaedic shoulder specialist the week this thing is scheduled to come off. The plan is to arrive with all scans, in hand and see what he says can be done….
The HALO not only limits just how much movement my shoulder can do. It has also been a limiting factor in further investigation / treatment of the shoulder injury. To add insult to injury the back board sits on the shoulder blade making certain movements uncomfortable. I’m sure big improvements in the shoulder will come once this thing is removed. Daniel the physio talks me through possible rotator cuff tear surgery. It’s not pretty and lengthy in time to heal. I hope this isn’t the case with me.
“9 WEEK BRIEF”
Week 9 has been challenging but we end it on a high. Craig Lowndes and Steven Richards win Bathurst which I’ve enjoyed watching from start to finish. I’ve also enjoyed getting out to speedway to watch my driver Lachlan Abbott steer my #94 Sprint Car. These distractions make the time pass a little faster and occasionally I feel almost normal. Next week is a big one for us. I will have a CT scan which will reveal if the HALO is to be removed early or if I’m to endure the full 12 week sentence. I have been so good for the last 9 weeks with no coffee or grog and eating well, I’m hoping for an early mark.
Top Picture - Early CT Scan.
Middle Picture - Lunch Time with Marcos.
Bottom Picture - Bathurst 1000 (1000-Kilometer touring car race)
Its 4.00am in the morning – I can’t sleep, I’m now on a constant cycle of 6hrly 10ml endone for pain relief. Some nights I sleep through the 6 hr mark and then wake knowing I’ve done exactly that so I get up, dose up and sit up til it takes effect.
So it’s 4am and I decided to get up and head to the office and start week 9. Before I do so I read it… all of it. No tears and a great sense of achievement. Yes, the blog has accomplished exactly what I wanted it to do. Allow me to clear my head and move on. I recommend anyone going through “life stuff” to record it. You don’t need to send it out to the world for them to scrutinise you on it but it does help to remember, to record and to move on.
This week I tried to switch meds (GP’s suggestion) I was against it initially but went with the idea. Bad move. This saw me flat on my back with vomiting bursts, dizziness and an overall grogginess, we have since concluded this probably coincided with the anti-nausea meds wearing off. Anyway, with all of this, depression sets in and I start to go downhill.
The pillow master has been a huge help through this, normally I’m the energizer bunny who jumps out of bed at any hour to start the day’s activities. Even if it’s a 3am start to go to work, I’ve never had a problem getting up and just seem to get on with it. So to find it a chore to get out of bed after 2 days of lying there starting at the celling… yip, out of character. So the pillow master has been pushing me to go for walks and head out to the shops etc. It’s hard for her to see me down, as I said, it’s so out of character. Sam has said, she can deal with lots of stuff if I’m still me, it’s hard though when she looses sight of ‘me’. By the end of the week I’m back on my normal meds and feeling half ok so I’m back out and about and even manage a few more walks. Shoulder still more than 60% of my pain.
At the shops today whilst eating my yummy “Dedication” toasted sandwich a lady sitting one seat down starts a conversation with me. This well-groomed woman tells me a story of how a girlfriend of hers was fitted with a HALO after breaking her neck. She tell me how her husband offered no support for her and how she had to go through her 3 month rehab alone with it eventually claiming their marriage. OMG… I cannot think of anything worse. You really need great people around you to get through this ordeal. I’m so lucky to have the pillow master – Love you Samantha!
“WHEN I GET OUT…”
Like some kind of prison sentence, I’m looking forward to getting out of my brace. I find myself thinking about the water flowing down my back from a shower. Being able to ride in a car without feeling like I need to think about the best route or how long the trip’s going to take as a result of shoulder cramping and locking up. Mostly the fear of tripping up or whacking the HALO which with its 2” long pins would drive nicely into your brain. I know it’s a little over dramatic but you try wearing it and not thinking about it.
So what will life immediately post HALO look like for me? The chance of getting a good look at the shoulder with a MRI, CT, and/or ultrasound without framework will be a good start. To have a conclusive diagnosis with what’s going on here will allow me to get on with shoulder repair. Currently nothing has been done to the relocated shoulder as even if we do need surgery the HALO would prevent this from happening. I’m also hoping that as I regain movement in my head/neck this might play a part in my eye sight getting a little better. (I have an apt booked at the end of Nov with an eye specialist...) There is nothing on Dr Google to support this but I think it’s got to help.
Even if nothing else was to improve, the ability to lay on my side and get a full night sleep would be heavenly… oh, I can’t wait to be able to do just that! To cuddle the pillow master and my kids without fear of framework whacking into them… oh, yes and to be off the DRUGS!
“MASTERING PAIN”
I have been trying to keep the shoulder moving as best possible. This week saw us back with Daniel the physio, he’s happy with my improved movement, (he’s been measuring movement in degrees and there has been a big improvement, it’s nice to have numbers to work off as from where I stand things still seem pretty dire) and I leave the physiotherapy practice feeling happy. I’m not sure if the fact I’m totally drugged up is helping with the movement, as the drugs wear off I’m certainly more aware of that shoulder then I’ve been for some time, perhaps I overdid it? But it’s good to know I can move it still, albeit in a limited way.
I’m still of the opinion I have a torn rotator cuff or something, even my specialist (the HALO dr) seems to think this may be the case, but his orthopaedic speciality is the spine, so we have booked in to see an orthopaedic shoulder specialist the week this thing is scheduled to come off. The plan is to arrive with all scans, in hand and see what he says can be done….
The HALO not only limits just how much movement my shoulder can do. It has also been a limiting factor in further investigation / treatment of the shoulder injury. To add insult to injury the back board sits on the shoulder blade making certain movements uncomfortable. I’m sure big improvements in the shoulder will come once this thing is removed. Daniel the physio talks me through possible rotator cuff tear surgery. It’s not pretty and lengthy in time to heal. I hope this isn’t the case with me.
“9 WEEK BRIEF”
Week 9 has been challenging but we end it on a high. Craig Lowndes and Steven Richards win Bathurst which I’ve enjoyed watching from start to finish. I’ve also enjoyed getting out to speedway to watch my driver Lachlan Abbott steer my #94 Sprint Car. These distractions make the time pass a little faster and occasionally I feel almost normal. Next week is a big one for us. I will have a CT scan which will reveal if the HALO is to be removed early or if I’m to endure the full 12 week sentence. I have been so good for the last 9 weeks with no coffee or grog and eating well, I’m hoping for an early mark.
Top Picture - Early CT Scan.
Middle Picture - Lunch Time with Marcos.
Bottom Picture - Bathurst 1000 (1000-Kilometer touring car race)